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Sinai Fashion Police or is that a "don't" - WELCOME TO SANDY HELL [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
cairocandy

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Sinai Fashion Police or is that a "don't" [Sep. 24th, 2006|03:19 pm]
cairocandy
[Tags|]
[Current Location |ABAYA-YES I HAVE ONE ON-HIKED UP BY WINDOW]
[mood |cynicalcynical]
[music |CLINTON ON CNN]

WHAT IS THIS WOMAN WEARING? and why?

WHILE PICKING UP MANGOS (APPARENTLY ILLEGAL) I WAS MET BY HAPPY LITTLE SOLIDERS ALL IN WHITE WHO COULD HAVE ONLY BEEN STOPPING ME FOR WEARING THE VERY LATEST IN SINAI-BY-SUEZ FASHION. I WILL CALL THESE AUTOMATIC TOTING MANGO MANIACS THE SINAI FASHION POLICE. APPARENTLY, WHEN VISITING ANY MONUMENT-SUCH AS THE PHALLIC BAYONET ONE FOR THE 6TH OF OCTOBER WAR-ONE MUST NOT NOT NOT TOUCH THE DAMNED MANGOS-MIND YOU THESE MANGOS HAD ALREADY FALLEN...ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE BAD TIMING WHICH PLAGUES ME...SOME MILITARY GUY WHO REQUIRED PROTECTION WOULD ALSO BE VISITING THE MONUMENT AT SOME UNSPECIFIED TIME....BUT, APPARENTLY, SPEAKING ENGLISH MEANS THE SWEET SOLIDERS-WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD-CONSIDER AMERICAN WOMEN NO THREAT TO THE MILITARY AND THEIR MONUMENTS...GOOD CALL. THE GOOD NEWS IS I ATE A MANGO. THE BAD NEWS IS I TOOK THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION LETTER M...PLEASE DEPORT ME NOW...I HAVE THE EVIDENCE...AND ACCORDING TO MY RESEARCH AM ELIGABLE FOR DEPORTATION-TICKETS PAID.... PLEASE REFER TO THE SAID LETTER M MISSING FROM SIGN. ALSO, AVAILABLE IN MY TOP DRAWER.

I FEEL I MUST EXPLAIN THE PICTURE:

WTF? JUST CALL ME SHALLOW OR VACUOUS OR EVEN A FASHIONISTA. BUT remember you heard it here first. Notice the black baseball cap (a mag. freebie) with genuine (no shit) silver and titanium threading in the uber-chic visor SEDUCTIVELLY perched atop the very cheapest of authentic Chinese polyester head-covering in bold blood-red.

More? INSTEAD OF THAT TIRED LITTLE BLACK DRESS (OR A PAIR OF-SHEILD MY EYES-SHORTS) WHY NOT SLIP ON SOMETHING MORE CLASSIC, SUBSTANTIAL AND ALWAYS APPROPRIATE FOR THE 105 DEGREES AT SUNRISE HEAT-YES, LADIES, A COMPLETE, MULTI-LAYERED, SANDCATCHING-HEMMED, EBONY ABAYA WITH ABSOLUTELY SUMPTUOUS LONG SLEEVES TO COVER THOSE (PLUCK OUT MY EYES) OH SO SEDUCTIVE HANDS. STILL NOT CONVINCED? THIS VIRTUAL PIECE OF LOW-COUTURE INSPIRED ART-WEAR, CAN EASILY ACCOMODATE A FAMILY OF FOUR, SHOULD ONE REQUIRE AN EXTRA-LUXE TENT.

UNDER THIS COPIOUS COVERING FROM POLYESTER HELL, SLIP ON YOUR INSIDE CLOTHING (FEMALE ONLY INSIDE CLOTHING) OF ANOTHER FRILLS AND THRILLS BLACK SLIP, LONG-SLEEVED CAFTAN-PURPLE ROSES PLEASE- AND THOSE SPECIAL UNMENTIONABLES PASSED DOWN FROM YOUR GRANDMOTHER. (PLEASE STOP ME)

and don't forget those-yes-Amerika style saran-wrap grey I can't inhale pants-as required by religious doctrine (minus the Amerika part-but we are only human!)

FOR WESTERNERS: THOSE BRA-THINGS ARE PERMITTED, AND NOW WIDELY AVAILABLE AS A REMARKABLE, SAVVY PLACE TO STASH YOUR CASH AND TISSUES-OR PASSPORTS, AS THE CASE MAY BE. (bOObs required)

AS ALWAYS, SHOES ARE OPTIONAL......

[ FOR THE MAJORITY OF THE WOMEN AND GIRLS WHO ARE NOT TAUGHT TO READ-YOUR SONS OR BROTHERS MAY BE KIND ENOUGH TO READ FOR YOU...AS IS THE CUSTOM OF THE REGION YOU MAY HAVE THIS EASTERN PERSPIRED TIMELESS AND FULL-ON-GLAM OUTFIT (MINUS CAP) FOR SIX MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF WHAT IS EQUIVILENT TO YOU AND YOUR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FEMALE-CHILD WORKING FOR ABOUT ONE MONTH-FRIDAYS OFF FOR PRAYER AND LAUNDRY.]

WHAT A FRCKIN DEAL LADIES...AND HERE'S THE CATCH...YOU HAVE TO-AND WE MEAN HAVE TO HAVE IT...SO DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT...CUZ IN SINAI YOU REALLY CAN'T.

NOTE: WESTERN ARMANI SHADES, CIRCA PRE-EGYPT NOT INCLUDED.

---JUST THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW YOUR BILLIONS-LITERALLY-DOLLARS IN USA TAXES ARE PROVIDING EDUCATION FOR THE BOYS WHO CAN BUY THE ABAYAS-OH, AND TO REPLACE DESCECRATED SIGNS, AND PROVIDE MANGO-PROTECTION--- OVER AND OUT...SH
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: goodall
2006-09-25 12:21 am (UTC)
So are the Egyptians going to deport you back to the US for stealing mangoes and the letter M?

"Please Brer Fox and Brer Bear, do anything, but please don't throw me in the briar patch!!!"

What a country...
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[User Picture]From: cairocandy
2006-09-25 01:31 am (UTC)

Welcome to my nemesis

I can only hope...this woman was my ramadan meal companion...it is scary...sh
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[User Picture]From: cairocandy
2006-09-26 10:26 am (UTC)

Mango sinai soliders CORRECTION-love that icon

No, deportation not so easy. The mango soliders were-well I was trespassing..on unmarked military (?) area-which was only probally considered military area as dignitary was due to be there and extra security. As a "clueless" American female-they would just warn me-if I were Egyptian, I'd be in Trouble. The Egyptian gov. is considered "Western friendly" and the military/Police/security-etc. excuse-look away-at most Western errors Except drugs. For homosexuality-3 years, writing critical of the president, his person, the gov., etc. 3 years-BUT an American citizen would most likely just be "unwelcomed" on most any charge here and returned to country. Westerners-except druggies who are also fundamentalist Muslims (!) are tolerated and just "re-directed"-home, or to embassy. The gov. here is under "Emergency Law"-for about 20 some years, so...well, Egyptians citizens are the ones really in a bad situation. The alternative to this gov. would possibly be a Muslim Brotherhood theocracy, which would mean a greater loss of freedom-and tourists and US "aid." Any violation can be "overlooked" for a small price, except publishing materials critical of the 25plus years in office President. Egyptian gays are jailed in a random manner, as are writers, lawyers and politicans in opposition. I probably was in more danger of being shot at-they'd miss-by mistake, as I was dressed in traditional garb. The States need to be careful not to fall into a version of "Emergency Law"...perhaps, a closer check on civil rights. The danger here to Westerners is more from radical fundamentalist groups/individuals who are more and more active.......Gimme a Mango!!!!!
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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: cairocandy
2006-09-26 10:39 am (UTC)

Re: AOL and more aol

Possibility of tickets with strings attached-still-can "order" even today-however, nothing is really "for Free"-but it doesn't matter, because, I can no longer keep my mouth shut here and am ready, willing and able...but somehow scared shitless to return. I will communicate date to you-confirmation will be very last minute. Will reach you. I am trying to expand writing base, publications different names-hope you are amused-many of my "notes" are on these entries-can u print and save, please? Am still trying to collect journals/photos and more documentaion. Every day, it is the grassy lot, overlooking the point-and the real deal market-St Andrews-meet me. jammed-aol-snafu-a sailor taught me that expression and white satin...
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